A Night of Chronic Pain

It's close to midnight and I'm declining to go to bed with the abundance of feeling similar to a little kid's refusal. I'm just going to ignore the looks and suggestions the Hubbs throws at me, even if I know I'll be in more pain tomorrow if I don't get enough sleep.

You see when you are in chronic pain, sometimes the place you dread the most is your bed.  We have a nice bed, it's a Leesa. We bought it before my back surgeries once we had gotten home from a cruise and realized how bad our bed was after being away for a week.  Now that same bed is a source of frustration and pain.

I get in and arrange my four different pillows into the first configuration.  Tonight I'm going to try to sleep on my left side, even though my left hip is now bothering me, probably because I compensate on it all the freaking time.  Body pillow running the length of the bed.  Check.  Serta "never fall flat" pillow on top of the body pillow and offset so my left leg can run under and my right on top.  Check. Standard sleeping pillow hugged to my torso to keep my lower back from twisting.  Check. Cervical neck pillow to keep my spine in alignment. Check.  Get the Hubbs to grab the sheets and cover me up so I don't disrupt my alignment.  Check. Ok.  Now let me see if I can sleep.

5 minutes later.

Now my right leg is throbbing and it's all I can think about until my brain shuts down from the pain.  Get up.  Get my IFC/TENS unit.  Get the Hubbs to help me put it on.  Get back in bed and go through the pillow procedure again. Check and double check.  Now hopefully, and usually, I am able to fall asleep.  Sometimes though, lying on my left side just isn't going to cut it so I have to switch to my back.  These times my brain is screaming "PAIN...PAIN....PAIN...PAIN...PAIN" so much so, that my usual sleep technique of making up stories in my head until I just drift off doesn't work.

I rearrange all my pillows (hoping at this point that I don't wake up the Hubbs) and flip onto my back.  Lay there for 15 minutes or an hour or two, which I know because my IFC/TENS cycles off in a hour, and then finally I will eventually drift off.  Then, if I am lucky, I don’t wake up until the Hubbs alarm goes off at 6:30AM.  On bad days I just happen to wake up at 3:00AM, 4:30AM. or 5:20AM.  This happens a lot which is why I know the exact times.

Then I have to get up.  Why?  Because if I try to go back to sleep, I end up tossing and turning. Then the pain starts up again and I end up further aggravating whatever the hell is wrong with my body that's causing the chronic pain. I limp out of bed, brush my teeth, and make a pot of coffee.  I’m ready to start my new normal day.  Good times.

Feel free to add your experience with chronic pain in the comments.

Photo Credit: Jaymantri

Back at the desk...just wish it was a standing desk

Back Surgery...when you can't bend over for 3+ months.

2017...well here I am 3 years later and oh so much wiser.

In the past 3 years, I have switched school districts, then left teaching to pursue in-vetro fertilization (IVF), then found out I herniated my L4/L5 and did surgery, not once but twice, and now I'm left with unexplained chronic buttock and hip pain (which is way worse than the actual herniation was).

In fact, since May 2016 my life has become what I like to call "the new normal." I've been in survival mode with the good days slightly outweighing the bad. Slightly. I think. Friends and family have told me they marvel at my strength, my will to not give up, the amazing fact that I'm not depressed, and that I should write a book. Well. Maybe. First, I thought I would get back in the blog habit, then if I can really get into my writing again...and there seems to be a place for my advice and thoughts about dealing with the shit storms of life, then yes, I will write that book.

I want to make it clear that I don't have all the answers and what worked for me may not work for you or your crazy aunt that had her hip replaced. I am also by no means done with my journey of getting rid of my chronic pain but I'm still hopeful (ask me again in 2019, I told The Hubbs that I'm fully allowed to be 100% despondent then).

Wii Fit

I'm getting back on the horse. It's Spring Break and I've canceled the surgery I had planned because my heel fracture is non-union. I'm going to have to have my heel fixed in June and I have to be 100% before I go under the knife again. I'll talk more about what they are going to do on my Saturday post.

So about the horse, I started working out again. I can't do much but did find out that I can do some of the yoga and strength training modes on the Wii Fit. Most of the balance games that have you rock back and forth hurt too much but with the strength and yoga, you are just standing there and while it's not comfortable, it's not painful.

I'm hoping to get at least some of the muscle rebuilt in my leg before I have to lose it again. I'm also praying for a miracle from God. That HE will heal my foot so I don't have to have this surgery and maybe go to Junction this summer. Regardless, I'm not having my left foot done until I've graduated from Grad School.

Blood Clots and Birth Control

These past 7 months I have been battling the 'fallout' from having a blood clot in my right leg from my surgery.

I will continue to update with my smart health posts just to get a list of all the comprehensive knowledge I have gained.

1. If you are a women and you are going to have a surgery where you will be non-weight baring for a period of a month or longer, stop your birth control. Inform your Ob/Gyn what you are having done and seek alternative methods of pregnancy prevention if necessary.

2. If you get a blood clot, you will most likely get another one in the future. This is a hard statement to make and none of my doctors would confirm this, until I saw my endometriosis specialist who is internationally renowned, said I will most likely get another blood clot in the future.

3. If you don't like your hematologist, shop around and get a new one. I thought that my hematologist was a little extreme, well I had that confirmed since she wouldn't sign off on the surgery I'm going to have spring break.

4. If you have any surgeries for the rest of your life you have to get special permission from a hematologist to do it.

5. If you are a women you must find a high risk Ob/Gyn if you are planning on having children. Fun! I haven't done this one yet, but will need to get on it soon.

6. If you are a women you cannot take birth control for the rest of your life. Which isn't a big deal for most women, however, since I have severe endometriosis, it's a BIG problem for me.

So what do I have planned for the next year. I'm having a Laproscopy done in March with a possible Laprotomy done when Summer I of grad school is over. We shall see and I won't know until the March surgery. Hopefully it will go well and I will keep health updates going.

Bone Density

I found out a couple of weeks ago that I am losing bone density in my right foot.

I have been undergoing extensive medical problems this year due to a surgery I had in last June. I have had so many complications and problems since the surgery: blood clot, and fracturing my bone graph in my heel.

I have spent at least 5 months of this year on crutches and am approaching my 6 month on them. To say I'm frustrated in my current health condition is an understatement.

I'm now under orders to walk on my foot to try to build up the bone density in my heel, even though it is still fractured. I go back on the 30th to find out if I've re-fractured it by walking on it. It's been a long tough road. Some of my students told me during finals they couldn't believe all that I've been through this year and that I have the worst luck or something along those lines. I told them I'm just building up my Karma. I'm either going to meet my husband in 2010 or win the lotto (of course meeting the man I hope to marry is just like winning the lotto but millions of dollars couldn't hurt). Plus I have LOTS of new organizations to donate to...Endometriosis society, Blood Clot research.....

Getting Fit, Again

I joined a gym. This is new for me simply because I have been living in apartments for the last three years and they have gyms. I'm technically done with physical therapy, I just have to do it on my own three times a week. Therefore joining a place to keep up with my pt was prescribed. I joined Snap Fitness. They are a new chain and are open 24/7. It is pretty nice. They have all the equipment that you would expect from a major chain, but is in a small strip center type building. I've been working out pretty steady for the last two weeks and finally feel great, emotionally, my foot still hurts like hell, but at least I'm happy about it. Got to love those endorphins!

Flu Shot and the Flu

This week I did my usual preventative flu shot. The district I work in requires that all teachers get one so they have a shot clinic at the school for $20.00 a pop. I called my parents and they came out for it as well since the price was much cheaper than anywhere else around.

The flu shot is a micro dose of the actual flu. If you are already healthy, you will not be affected. However, if you have had your foot re-arranged surgically, your tendons spliced, and a blood clot in your leg...you may not be as "healthy" as you should be when you get the shot.

Yes dear readers, that's right, the flu shot gave me the flu. I started getting sick during 6th period Thursday and it got worse. Friday was a blur and I'm not sure how I made it though teaching but I was a trooper, plus my students this year are awesome so that helps. Now it's Saturday and I've taken so much Vitamin C I think my skin is glowing green but my throat has gone from swallowing acid feeling to scratchy so I must be on the mend. Hopefully, I can get over this in time for Open House Monday.

Compression Socks

I have been logging my struggles with my surgery this summer. The last three weeks have been especially hard going back to teach. I wish I had known to get a compression sock. A compression sock keeps areas in your body from swelling and keeps blood flow going. They have them for legs and arms. I would have healed faster if I had gotten one as soon as they took the pins out. As it was, I swelled up massively every day and it got much worse when I started going back to work.

Now, here's the kicker, I know most of you that read this blog don't know me. One of my nicknames is Titanium White, after the oil/acrylic paint color. Why? When one of my best friends and I picked up a sorority little sister together we bought her the traditional stuff you decorate for them. One of these items was a wooden cutout of two big sisters holding a little sister's hand. At the time we were sharing the decorating and she painted this wooden cutout. She was an art minor and had taken painting, so she had the professional artist's acrylics. Our little sister was Hispanic so she used some burnt umber, yellow ochre, and titanium white to mix her skin tone. For herself she mixed some yellow ochre, cadmium red, and titanium white. For me she just used titanium white. See color chart below.

Yes, that's right. I'm blinding. So the "nude" compression sock is about ten times too dark for my leg. So in Texas, in SUMMER, I'm wearing pants (unless my boot is on). H-O-T! Literally.

Seriously, get a compression sock if you are going to have any type of invasive surgery.

Physical Therapy and Celebrex

I'm currently undergoing physical therapy for my reconstructive foot surgery I had this summer. I went the first week and my foot seemed to be doing fine. I was walking around last Saturday with no crutches in my boot. I was a little sore but that was it. Sunday during the second set of my routine something popped in my foot. Then the pain came. I couldn't walk without this burning pain. It took me a while to realize what it was.

I went into the surgery with peroneal tendonitis in my foot. Even after resting it all summer it didn't go away. As soon as I really got into exercising the foot, it came back with a vengeance. Since I'm also on Coumadin for the blood clot in my leg, I'm not "allowed" to take anything for the now inflamed tendons in my right foot.

We did an emergency trip to my surgeon and he said it was fine. Apparently to put in the first bone graph he had to seperate the peroneal longus and the peroneal brevis. The popping sound I heard and felt was the tendons popping back into place. No wonder it hurt like hell! He said the bones are doing great and put me in a real shoe to walk around with assistance from my crutches. He also gave me Celebrex. Then I had to call my "blood clot team" to see what the heck I was supposed to do now that I was on an anti-inflammatory. Good times.

Sore Muscles and Epsom Salt

I started Physical Therapy this week. If you've never been you should know that it is going to be hard and it is going to hurt. Why? You are using muscles that have been dormant for several weeks if not months.

I keep telling myself "Don't get impatient!" It took me 90 minutes to complete exercises for my foot that were 3 sets of ten - moving my foot up and down, side to side, clockwise and counter clockwise. Then I had to repeat it all using a theraband. Then I repeated it again with a board on the floor.

So what would take a normal person 15-30 minutes took 90. That should give you an idea about how stiff your joints, tendons, ligaments, and muscles are. In fact I have to do this at home (without the band and board) three times a day. I'm so sore in my foot and calf that I can barely walk. What do I say for soreness since I have a blood clot in my leg and can't get a massage?

Epsom Salt bath!

Warm water, pour in the Epsom Salt until it's salty to your taste and soak 30 minutes. You'll be looser and not as sore. Yes!

Foot Surgery Recovery Advice

1. Don't rush it.

For those of you who have been following the randomness of my blog, and the advice I feel may help others, I'm still in the process of recovery for my foot. I had an Evans Calcaneal Osteotomy, a Cotton Osteotomy, and Achilles Tendon Lengthening. Last Friday I had the pins that were stablizing my bone graphs removed. I was allowed to be weight bearing in a boot with help from crutches.

Now the, pardon the pun, crutch is that I go back to teaching August 12 and the school district I am employed with will not allow me to work on crutches or in a wheelchair. So I have been trying to get weight bearing ASAP. I started using a cane yesterday for a few hours (5) and will try to keep the same schedule today. Then I'm going to try to bump it up to six hours tomorrow. This is for short juants only. For instance, from the chair to the bathroom, bathroom to kitchen, chair to computer. The problem is after about 5 hrs of short trips the pain is there. My biggest advice for anyone experiencing foot surgery is not to rush it. I unfortunately do not have that option.