7 Steps for Learning to Live with Joy

I am learning to really live with Joy and Gratitude because I honestly think it's going to help with my pain.

That sounds weird simply because I have always thought I have been happy but the truth of the matter is that I'm not.

I have been coming to this conclusion for a while now, and what really blows my mind is that I don't think I've ever been joyful and happy. I don't know how to live in joy.

Sure I've had joyous moments like getting accepted to grad school, meeting my husband, getting engaged, getting married. However, I don't actually live in joy. Joy in the good times and the bad.

My mom always told me when I was growing up the story of the wrecked car. You can be happy and have a wrecked car or you can be upset and have a wrecked car, but either way, you have a wrecked car.

I couldn't ever do it though. I have been a slave to my emotional state since, um, forever.

7 Steps for Learning to Live with Joy
I've completed You Are The Placebo and am clued into the fact that to get out of pain I have to literally become a completely different person. Living in negativity for my entire life got me here, I turned on genes that are damaging by being addicted to stress and when tragedy struck, pain.

That's right.

Addicted.

You know how I truly figured this out in the last week?!? I honestly have been doing so well with my pain and working on transitioning to my new positive self that I totally sabotaged this direction by thinking that #leohusband is secretly having an affair everytime he works late.

How insane is that?

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I'm doing better in my consistency and my positivity that my brain simply said no I need stress like a crack whore on the street.

I want to bitch slap my conscious brain so hard.

Honestly though, how do you live each day in joy?

Well, this is what has worked for me.

1. Happy Memories

I like to first conjure up a moment of pure joy. Oftentimes I picture me walking down the aisle toward my soon to be husband. As soon as I came out I peeked around the corner because I just couldn't wait to see him. We locked eyes and it took my breath away.

I can feel the overwhelming happiness enter my chest and almost explode out of my limbs. Everything is affected and I feel my energy change. I feel lighter.

2. Joy for All Occasions

I know what you are thinking, how can I be joyful all the damn time? Well, it's a choice. I had a ton of stuff planned to do today. In fact, I even had this post completely written out and somehow deleated it. After one choice word, I reached inside and pulled up some joy. I was able to recover and not go into Disterville USA. The old me (literally a few days ago) would have bemoaned the rest of the day losing all that good writing.

So I turned to laundry, and I know what you are thinking, seriously Adina, how does laundry bring you joy?

A. First go watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (which is a joy bringer in and of itself)
B. It feels good to pour love into and thank my clothes

3. Breathe and Step Back

Part of this journey of learning to pull those joyful feelings up throughout the day is forgiving yourself when you fail. Be flexible with your emotions and don't feel guilty for a slip back into negativity. I've spent the last 30+ years being negative, this is going to be a long process. For instance, the day I had my breakthough I ended up driving almost 200 miles around my city.

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There's nothing like a little road rage to put you new positive, joyful, mindset like terrible traffic. When someone cut me off I felt that negativity and anger fill me and then I took a breath and pulled up that joy. I told myself that I actually had plenty of time to get where I'm going but the person ahead of me might not. I didn't berate myself for my slip.

4. Know your Triggers

Learning to live with joy everyday is also about knowing your triggers. Too much on my plate is mine. I feel overwhelmed and that leads to stress. Negative people could be one as well, or surrounding yourself with drama...sorry Handmaid's Tale you are just going to have to be put on the back burner.

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5. Immerse Yourself in Happiness

On that note, drive into fun and happiness. Start a family game night or spend time with entertainment that makes you laugh. We've started watching Brooklyn 99 and it's one of the funniest shows I've ever watched. You know the old addage about The Laughing Cure where the man healed himself from cancer by immersing himself in comedies. Then try it for you.

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6. Practice

So let's recap. To live in joy remember one of your happiest moments. Feel that feeling. Then try in 5 minutes to bring up that feeling without the memory. Practice throughout the day. If you don't succeed the first time then repeat the memory or try a different one and start again. Practice bringing up the joy throughout the day, especially if it's a task you don't want to do. Try bringing up the joy first. I find it amazing for my energy level as well as my ability to do more throughout the day.

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7. Bring Someone on your Journey

Tell friends and family, journey's are always more fun when shared with others. You are changing into a new, more positive person. Who do you want to bring on this journey? It will benefit the both of you more than you know.

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Tell me about your Joy Journey in the comments!

Paleo and Whole30 Tex Mex Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

For some reason last week was all about the last minute dinners. I meal planned but didn't prep because my prepping buddy was gone on a business trip...needless to say #leohusband didn't help me either.

So I was stuck scrambling as per usual to come up with a healthy, last-minute meal that was Paleo and Whole30 compliant.

Paleo and Whole30 Tex Mex Stuffed Sweet Potatoes
Serves 4

Ingredients:

4 sweet potatoes
1 lb of Paleo/Whole30 Compliant Chorizo
1/2 a yellow or white onion, whatever you have on hand, coursely diced
1 can of fire roasted diced tomatoes
1 can of green chilies
1 avocado diced
1 bunch of cilantro, washed and chopped

Pre-heat the oven to 400.

Wash and scrub the sweet potatoes. Place on a foil lined baking sheet and bake at 400 for one hour.

20 minutes before the potatoes are done.

Put a large skillet on the stove on medium heat.

Split open the casings on the chorizo and brown the meat. While the meat is browning, dice the onion.

When the meat is cooked through drain some of the grease off by tilting the pan and using a spoon. Add the onion and saute with the chorizo until the onion is translucent. Add in the tomatoes and chilies. Salt and pepper to taste. Cook everything together on medium heat for about 5 minutes or until the liquid has reduced.

Take the potatoes out of the oven. Split open and stuff with the skillet mixture. Top with avocado and cilantro.

Quick and easy! Enjoy!

Hate Valentine's Day? 7 Valentine's Self Care Ideas

I used to hate Valentine's Day with a passion.

I mean hate.

With the fire of 1,000 suns.

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I actually used to call it "Singles Awareness Day." Seriously.

Anyway, I was single all throughout high school and most of college, which according to family and friends it was simply due to the fact that most guys were completely intimidated by me.

Ugh, grow a pair.

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So while friends were walking through the hallways with ballons and flowers and candy and cards I felt very left out that I had nothing. My senior year of high school some awesome friends, who I can't remember 20 years later, got me 2 ballons and flowers. It was very sweet, but I wanted love y'all.

I actually didn't have my first Valentines date until I was 20 years old and by then I was so effing desperate I picked not the best guy to spend it with and then persued a long, on again, off again relationship throughout undergraduate with him. I spent my second Valentine's Day with him, but not the one after that. They were good celebrations of Valentine's day for that time of my life.

In the subsequent years since undergraduate, I had a total of two other Valentines Day dates, one at 25, with the ATM boyfriend and the other at 28 with a different boyfriend, which was so disterous I broke up with him. That's it folks.

4.

Total.

Did I mention I really hated Valentines?

Until I met my husband.

My best Valentine's day dates of all time have all been with my husband. Out first Valentine's was when I was 31. 31 y'all! I'll talk about our Valentine's traditions next week. I want to let the suspense kill you.

So, I wanted to kick this month off with some selfcare, Galentine's, and Significant Other/Family Time ideas that you can try and maybe let this month suck a little less if you hate February and all things Valentines.

Maybe you'll come to love this month or maybe you'll just find a little funniness here to make you laugh.

Hate Valentine's Day? 7 Valentine's Self Care Ideas

1. Treat Yo Self

Is there something you've desperatly been wanting? You've pined over it for months but you just haven't pulled the trigger.

Do it!

Doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be small, doesn't have to be an object at all.

Maybe you've been thinking about a subscription to Hulu or Netflix? Do it!

Wanting to try that Paleo Pizza Crust mix. Do it!

That purse at Macy's been catching your eye. Do it!

Whatever you have that you've been wanting to buy, or whatever, pick one thing and treat yo self!

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Me?

I've had my eye on this Paleo Chocolate Cupcake Mix that I've been debating about to try forever so I got a box from Thrive!


2.Mental Health Day (or Hour)

Asking your significant other for 1 hour of silent bath time where you lock the door and put on his gaming headphones to block out the noise. Do it!

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Sleeping in and taking a "sick" day. Do it!

Binge watching Game of Thrones before the last season comes out! Do it.

3. Learn Something New

Maybe you've wanted to try a cake decorating class. Do it!

Skydiving? Do it.

Always wanted to know how to knit? Do it!

4. Decorate for Anti-Valentines

Really hate Valentine's? Go all out and decorate with skulls and splashes of red and black everywhere. Heck, put a fake graveyard in the front yard and put Romeo on one gravestone and Juliet on the other...complete with hands coming out of the ground!

Seriously! Lean into your hatred and go toward the dark side.

Check out Mom's and Munchkin's Anti-Valentine's Day Party for ideas.

5. Punch Something

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All the above ideas just not doing it for you. Go punch something. Sign up for a Kickboxing, MMA, or American Ninja Warrior class near you. Not only will it get your aggression out, you will also get some exercise in and that's the best selfcare of all.

6) The Grinch Cure

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Remember when the Grinch's heart increased in size three times? He sacrificed to help others thereby making room in his heart for love. Valentine’s Day is all about spending the day with a loved one, but what about those who may not have a loved one to spend the day with? Find a place to volunteer, such as a retirement home or homeless shelter, and make someone else’s day.

7) Show Some Love for Your Friends

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Galentine's Day is rapidly becoming popular for a good reason too. Valentine’s is not just a day for couples, but a day for love, so spend the day with a group of people you love, like your besties?

I wish I had been in tune with myself when I was younger to actually get out and do some of the things on this list instead of having my head stuck up where the sun don't shine but then again I was a teenager...college kid...etc.

Times really have changed and with the greatness of the internet and more people wanting to improve their life, there is hope for Valentine's yet. Try some of these out and let me know if they worked, especially if you did that graveyard!

Yoga for Shoulder Pain Part 1

I hurt my left shoulder in yoga April 2018 and it's been a rocky road since. However, I've dedicated February 2019 to kicking it's ass and getting on with my life.

I've committed to yoga everyday but part of that commitment is listening to my body. While I can't control what a yoga teacher decides to do in class, I can control my YouTube channel and it's free!

I'm also doing another round of PT for my shoulder. That has made keeping up with daily yoga a very big challenge.

On days that I have Physical Therapy, I'm doing yoga flows that do not use my shoulder to give it a rest. I need to rest it so I don't undo the progress I have made.

Ugh! I thought my knee problems were bad.

Here is one of my favorite non-shoulder yoga flows from one of my favorite YouTubers Yoga with Kassandra. Subscribe to her channel!

February 2019 Bullet Journal Spread

Where did January go?

Seriously?

Well, February is here and so is my bullet journal set up for the month. Last year, I opted for a sleek minimalism scheme that really didn't speak to my artist's soul.

I'm working on a balance between super detailed and artistic and simplicity in 2019.

Thing's I've changed up are a full calendar for the month at a glance spread.

I've also opted for a horizontal weekly view.

The trackers in January just didn't work for me. The pages were too busy, which made it hard to figure out what was going on.

I went for a colorful visual emotion and energy tracker that I'm looking forward to blending colors for, especially since I fluctuate during the day. Hoping to get a better bead on my adrenal fatigue and the emotions associated with it.

I'm seperating my AM and PM tasks into different columns so I can really tell how I get through the day and the consistency with the night time tasks.

I've also added back in my pain + sleep tracker to the same area.

I also had a nice doolding session one evening while exhausted, it totally made me feel better.

Does Love Lower Your Pain Levels

Last week I talked about how I constantly feel overwhelmed and behind and that is not good for healing from chronic pain.

My word for 2019 is consistency. Part of that consistency is developing a schedule for each day, tasks to follow at particular times, things to do each day. I own the fact that I've totally failed at it so far. However, each week is a new week and last week I really followed my schedule to the letter.

I just about died from exhaustion by Friday, but I also started PT on my shoulder injury Tuesday's and Thursday's.

So I upheld my weekly schedule, but I didn't take into account the physical therapy sessions I was adding in. Which explains why by Friday after my dry needling session I was completely out of gas. I texted #leohusband to figure out dinner because it was just not going to happen.

However, other than my shoulder pain, I didn't have severe adhesive arachnoiditis pain last week.

It's too early to tell if consistency is helping my pain but I'm honest enough to say that I'm not really giving it all. I really need to evaluate where to start.
Does Love Lower Your Pain Levels

Let's break down what habits and scheduling I'm wanting to make and do to follow through and be consistent.

I want to work out in some form every day.

That's yoga, walking, or physical therapy exercises. I would really like to add in strength training this year.

I want to keep up with household tasks.

That's putting things away when I get them out as soon as I'm done using them, making sure I have a place for everything, and staying on top of chores, like laundry or menu planning.

I want to eat healthy no matter the circumstances.

That's eating Paleo or Whole30 at friend's houses, family gatherings, or even date nights. Holiday's and Birthday's excluded.

It's Monday of February and I can honestly say I at least worked out every day of January, except for the week I had strep.

However, I'm beginning to realize changing everything at once is exhausting. I mean seriously exhausting. I can hang in for about 4 to 5 days but when it comes to the last 2-3 days of the week.

So what is the answer, Dr. Dispenza would probably tell me I'm on the right track, and to add in love (and forgiveness) to everything I do.

Which is what I'm trying now.

Doing my tasks with love in mind. Very similar to the KonMari Method where she shows gratitude and thanks for everything in her life...even the trash can!

Today I thanked the tea I was drinking for waking up my brain and giving me antioxidant power throughout my body.

Since this is a new concept, I'm pretty sure it's going to take some time to adjust and incorporate it on top of my three goals, but I really feel it fits in well with the new Adina I'm trying to create.

Simply because it speaks to my main 2019 goals:

Consistency and
Kindness

Whole30 and Paleo Pork Chops and Winter Vegetables

This Whole30 has been rough y'all. Not only did I have a wedding to go to, but I got strep. Talk about putting the pressure on.

I have to admit I did abandon my menu planning after I got strep. Some of the things I had planned were just not going to happen. Too much prep work and cutting for functioning on zero.

Sheet Pan Pork Chops and Winter Vegetables

Serves 4.

4 pork chops
1-2 bags of precut winter root vegetables
2 T avocado or olive oil, divided
Salt and pepper to taste
2 T herbs de provence, divided
1/3 c balsamic vinegar

Preheat Oven to 425. Grab 2 baking sheets and line them with foil. Pat the pork chops down with a paper towel and drizzle on avocado or olive oil on. Salt and Pepper both sides to taste. Sprinkle with 1 T of Herbs de Provence.

Grab some pre-cut winter veggies, fresh or frozen. I get a bag of root veggies from Costco that are washed, chopped, and ready to go, but my local grocery store has the same thing in the produce department. Toss one or two bags/trays into a large bowl. Drizzle your oil of choice over the veggies and season them with salt, pepper, and the Herbs.

Place both trays in the oven with the veggies on top and the pork chops near the bottom.

Set a 12 minute timer.

While waiting, grab a small saucepan and bring the balsamic vinegar to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 5-7 minutes and then reduce the heat to low to keep it from congealing.

At the 12 minute mark flip the pork chops over and stir the veggies.

Set another 12 minute timer.

When done serve with the balsamic glaze spooned over the pork chop and veggies. #leohusband approved and he said it was even better the next day!

3 Reasons to Try Third Love

A couple of months ago I posted my unbiased review of the Stickee Bra. I bought and paid for it with my own money and tried several versions to zero effect. Definitely check it out.

Now, I've got to say that in my research for better health, part of that is breast health. The girls are important ladies.

As I've said before, my soon to be podcast buddy Rebekah tried Third Love and posted her review on her Facebook group. She and I are kindred spirits, so of course, I had to give Third Love a try. Yes, I'm totally going to tout Third Love as the best bra company, and everything I've bought from them has been out of my own pocket.

They have paid me nothing to write this.

I was having shoulder problems, my boobs were weirdly hurting, and nothing in the stores fit. Nothing.

3 Reasons to Try Third Love

1. You're Probably Not Wearing the Correct Size

Did you know that when you get a new bra you should wear it on the farthest hook out? You should tighten your bra over time as the elastic changes and wears out. The closest hook is for when your bra is almost worn out.

Yep, I didn't know that.

My 34 bras were on the closest hook and still riding up my back.

After taking the fit finder quiz, they determined I was a 32 D. I tried one on, shipped to my house, and I had spillage. Returns were so easy. Log in to your account, work with the fit finder program to get a new size. They email a pre-paid label to you. I dropped the box off at my local "print and ship" place because Post Office lines are so not my thing. My new sized bra shipped within the week and I went to a 32 E. It was perfect in that style.

Since then, different styles do require different sizes. Some I'm a 32 E, others I'm a 32 F.

2. They have Amazing Customer Service.

Let's talk about me effing up my shoulder for a quick second. I messed it up in yoga. I couldn't wear any bra that touched the area between my shoulder and shoulder blade. It was super painful. I got some strapless bras and some racerback bras from Third Love.

I had a serious problem with the racerback bras. They were just not for my girls. Every woman is a different shape and these were not for my shape. I tried on a 32 E and then got put in a 32 F in one style and a 34 D in another. They still weren't quite right. While they were no longer digging into my armpits...every time I bent over the girls would just fall out.

Super awkward in public. The dance I would use to shimmy back into my bra without someone guessing what was going on had to be priceless.

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Months went by y'all. Months.

I stopped wearing them. I hated opening my lingerie drawer and seeing the expensive bras going to waste. Guilt. Anguish. Anger. You name any negative emotion and I felt it about these bras.

Well, 2019 came and I've seriously decided to change negativity, even on a small scale like bras that just are not a good fit.

I called customer service fully expecting for them to tell me it's too late to exchange them. Except that it wasn't!

I couldn't believe it after all these months went by and me wearing them but they exchanged them for completely different bras. Two brand new ones.

Who does that?

No one. No company I've ever dealt with.

I was so happy and excited to no longer feel guilty over my purchases and to get bras I could actually wear. It was money well spent.

3. Their CEO is amazeballs.

I don't know if you heard the buzz, but after Victoria's Secret show, CEO Ed Razek slammed plus size women in a Vogue interview. He was quoted in saying "[The] televised fashion show is "a fantasy" and "no one" has "an interest" in watching plus-size models.

Let's be honest, the Victoia's Secret fashion show isn't about women. It's about the millions of men who feel the need to add to their spank bank.

Third Love's Heidi Zak took out a full-page ad in The New York Times to respond to Ed Razek.

Here is her letter.

Yoga for When you are Sick Part 2

Last week I talked about doing yoga while sick or that phase of getting sick. You know that terrible feeling you have that something is just not right, no it's not a poltergeist, it's the beginning of a cold or flu or bronchitis. Ugh, the worst. I shared an awesome YouTube yoga session for just that occasion.

Yoga for When you are Sick Part 2
This week I want to share another awesome YouTuber, Yoga with Adriene.

I love this woman. I, of course, found her by one of my searches...yoga for shoulder pain. She had an amazing no shoulder class which I desperately needed at the time (still do). I had an inkling she was a fellow Texas girl and come to find out that yes, she is. I could tell by her colloquial phrases. Texans have some amazing catch phrases.

Anyway, her Yoga for When you are Sick is much more low key. I found it helpful when I was in the middle of the "I'm going to die" part of being sick. This flow is gentle and relaxing, plus Adriene's voice is very soothing, especially when she talks about honoring your body and your immune system.

Definitely check her channel out and subscribe to her videos because they are amazing.

Bullet Journal Daily Routine 2019

2018 was a year that I tried to get things right and failed miserably. In that failure, I realized what I needed to do to change and that change was being consistent in all things.

Basically, it's learning to be a baby boomer. It's learning to be an adult. It's tidying every day. Putting things back where they belong. Not being a Scarlett O'Hara and waiting until tomorrow. Doing it now. Doing it even when you're tired and sick and struggling because not doing things is what got you into this mess. So do them.

2018 I plotted out two days, one day where I feel great, and one day where I'm having a pain flare.

Bullet Journal Daily Routine 2019
The problem was I never freaking followed either of my plans. I didn't even test them out to see if they were actionable, practical, or achievable.

This year I have taken a different approach. I have what I want to do each day plotted out but I'm waiting until I have a months worth of data before I fill the times or the chart in.

How long does my morning routine take on average?

How long does it take to blog and get pictures for my blog?

How long will menu planning, making the grocery list and doing the actual grocery shopping take?

So many questions, so little data.

I started out strong at the beginning of January only to be thrown a complete curveball with getting strep and a sinus infection. However, part of consistency means not giving up and getting back on that horse. February is right around the corner and my stopwatch is waiting to be activated.

Does Routine Lower Your Pain Levels

We are now at the end of January and I'm posing a very big question for the rest of 2019. Does consistent routine and schedules lower your chronic pain?

Right now, I'm at the end of reading You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza and one of the several key points he makes about pain is always feeling overwhelmed, rushed, out of time, and panicked.

Um, yes. All of the above. All the damn time.

I constantly feel overwhelmed and behind.

I feel like I'm never going to catch up or gasp, get ahead?!?!

I've noticed that the more things I have left undone on my to-do list, and the more things I feel stressed over, my pain does skyrocket. As evidenced by this last December rushing around to get things completed by the time family arrives and I went into one of the worst pain flares of 2018.

I'm mentioned several times that my word for 2019 is consistency. Part of that consistency is developing a schedule for each day, tasks to follow at particular times, things to do each day. Ok, I've totally failed at it so far but I do get up and try every damn day to follow some sort of routine. More on that tomorrow.

What I'm thinking is, if I follow this daily, even if it's just a 30 minute allotment, I will eventually get caught up and then get ahead of my to do list.

Therefore taking the fight or flight burden off of my brain.

The next tricky part is getting my brain to quit the addiction of stress. That is a topic for another day.